ORIGINAL: Linus Gump

Tire cleaner works well. The first thing I do when I want to remove the evidance of fun is to hit the local coin op car wash. They have that nice pressure washer with all of the flavors. The tire cleaner and engine degreaser work well, but they take a while before they actually come out of the wand. Normally I hit the outside with the soap solution first, then switch to the engine cleaner and spray the engine until it starts to come out. then I switch to the tire cleaner and hit all four tires once it starts coming out. After that, I swtich to the foaming brush and scrub the body, starting at the top and working down into the dirtier areas, ending with the tires. Finally I rinse everything with water, and make sure I get under the vehicle and all of the wheel wells to prevent the mud from collecting water and promoting rust. Then, to ensure I can return to the car wash the next time, I wash the mud out of the bay and down the drain. If you are good, you can do all of theis for about $5-$7.
Once home, I bust out the bucket and rewash because I can never seem to get a sparkling clean vehicle fro the coin-ops, but now I don't have to worry about having a mud pit for a driveway.

The engine is hard to wash and get clean, unless you actually want to get in there with the wash mitt. Some of the mud stains I can live with, but a good dose of Simple Green on the engine when it is cold, and hosed off after it has had time to soak in seems to do wonders for a lot of the grime in the engine compartment. Another trick for road grime and other gunk that collects in the engine compartment is a spray bottle of kerosene. Spray liberally on a COLD engine and let that soak in. Then hose off with the garden hose. This idea isn't very environmentally friendly, but then neither is washing the oil and road grime from the engine in the first place. But if you have the means to collect the crud from going into a drain, you will be ok.

ORIGINAL: Linus Gump

Ah yes, but the mud let's everyone else who see's you know how much fun you had, and are generally in awe that you actually took that nice expenive vehicle off road. Otherwise, all you have are fish stories of your adventure, i.e. nothing to show for it.