JOKES
#11
02-17-2006, 08:39 PM
RE: JOKES
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A teen-aged boy walked up to the bench and sat down; he had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was staring.
The teenager finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was staring.
The teenager finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
#12
02-17-2006, 08:42 PM
RE: JOKES
Did you know that...
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MUSTACHE.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."
Walt Disney was afraid........OF MICE!
PEARLS MELT....IN VINEGAR!
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but, not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MUSTACHE.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."
Walt Disney was afraid........OF MICE!
PEARLS MELT....IN VINEGAR!
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but, not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts.
#14
02-18-2006, 03:52 PM
RE: JOKES
11. New Rule, and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands. Now get out of my face!
The second one. That is so true with all the patriot act sh*t goin on. So at the end it says "do you want to stop this". Click here to take action. -> page could not be found[:@] The government got that one covered too I see.[sm=americanasmiley.gif]
I tried to fold my piece of paper more than seven times, couldnt even get more than six. Then I tried a bigger piece of paper still didnt work. So annoying[sm=dontgetit.gif]
