ORIGINAL: TigerLily

Maybe ya'll can learn from these ... gentlemen! Also, all numbered one on purpose!

1. Sometimes questions are not questions. We like to think out loud.
1. Mostly we're not thinking about you. But, about clothes, shoes, make-up, shopping or some guys cute ***, maybe. But not you. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are interested in these topics.
1. Saturday = shopping. Ditto Sunday morning. Ditto weekday lunchtimes. We shop therefore we are. After all, it's not a task we trust men to do.
1. A Chinese takeaway and a six pack is not our idea of a romantic evening in.
1. Women are allowed to use PMS as an excuse for anything up to and including murder. Any man who suggests our bad moods are due to PMS is being patronizing. Our bad moods are due to men.
1. Shopping is a sport. To be precise it is a blood sport.
1. Women's desire to consume and spend is due to evolution - it is complementary to man's hunting instinct. How else do we demonstrate appreciation of your ability to provide for us?
1. Size matters. Especially the size of your paycheck.
1. Women will have enough clothes the day that shops stop stocking new fashions.
1. Animals shed their skins seasonally - women purchase a seasonal wardrobe. Recycling from last year/season/yesterday is not an option.
1. Learn to understand subtle hints. We use them to avoid damaging the fragile male ego.
1. When we say '<whatever> needs doing' we mean it needs doing NOW.
1. We understand that men have difficulty targeting the toilet, especially after 6 cans of beer, but we don't understand why they can't use the toilet paper to wipe up afterwards.
1. Women dress to please men. Their own men, men in the street, the fed-ex guy, whoever. When asked for your views on an outfit, you are being given the status of an art critic.
1. Don't be scared to go beyond yes or no when answering questions. Be prepared to justify your answers. Develop verbal reasoning skills beyond monosyllables.
1. Women can think about three things simultaneously. We've evolved that way because we know that men can rarely think about one thing coherently for prolonged periods of time (>2 minutes).
1. A 2-week headache is caused by male poor performance 2 weeks and 1 night ago - or by denying access to your credit card. The solution is in your hands.
1. Your mate is not a surrogate mother. Nor does she need training from your mother. Either adapt to new house-rules or move back to mom.
1. Faking it means you finish quicker. Sometimes the experience is not worth prolonging. The solution is in your hands - and if you can't learn good techniques it will remain in your hands.
1. When we ask you to perform a task, we don't expect to have to re-train you every single time you do the same task. Learn from experience.
1. If you must pass wind in bed, there's no need to flap the duvet afterwards. And passing wind when getting a ******* ruins future opportunities.
1. Christopher Columbus was not heading for America when he discovered it. If he'd had directions, he wouldn't have ended up in some undiscovered hinterland - he'd have reached his intended destination and in only half the time.

ORIGINAL: TigerLily

Maybe ya'll can learn from these ... gentlemen! Also, all numbered one on purpose!

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