Laws of the Universe
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Laws of the Universe
Some of the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...[/align]
[/align]1. Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch oryou'll have to go to the bathroom.
2. Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidityofyour act.
4. Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,thevery next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start tomove faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are withsomeone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrivelast.
12. Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you todosomething [/align]which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacentlockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on afloorcovering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of thecarpet/rug.
15. Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.[/align]-OR-[/align]Nothing is impossible if you don't have to do it yourself!
17. Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
[/align][/align]18. Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop makingit[/align]
[/align]1. Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch oryou'll have to go to the bathroom.
2. Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidityofyour act.
4. Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,thevery next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start tomove faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are withsomeone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrivelast.
12. Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you todosomething [/align]which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacentlockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on afloorcovering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of thecarpet/rug.
15. Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.[/align]-OR-[/align]Nothing is impossible if you don't have to do it yourself!
17. Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
[/align][/align]18. Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop makingit[/align]
Monster...You've been cracking me up lately!!! 
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