Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?


Here is a little test that will help you decide




You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.



You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.





What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on , could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1 ?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Click...(sounds of reloading)BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those theWinchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son: 'You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'
Wife: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist

 

Just got that in an e-mail this AM. I've seen it before but it is a classic. That one always brings a smile to my face.

 

Nice....

I'll try to find some cats after dinner.... Work was HELLLLLLL today...

 

Book Report-

Students at a local high school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.


One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:..... Cost - $29.99
Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99

Titanic:.... Over 7 hours to read
Clinton :.... Over 7 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forb idden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton :..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :..... Bill is a bull**** artist.

Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:.... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton :..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing

 

 

 

I like that one Muddy, you seem to be getting better

 

Yeah lol cats, glad to see them back.Politics, Rednecks, and Book Reports all in one thread, wow.