2-20-08 Bad Jokes
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From: Red Lion, PA
2-20-08 Bad Jokes
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish.
By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, I'm afraid there has been a mistake. You see that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The problem with this is that this is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you!"
The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food.
The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer.
A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man's table and says, "Listen up, pal. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I'll warn you whatever you do to that chicken I'll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs, I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings, I'll break one of your arms!"
The man calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum pulls it out and licks it.
He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says, "Your turn!"
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From: Red Lion, PA
RE: 2-20-08 Bad Jokes
Two starving bums
These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat.
He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.
He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"
"Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"
The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.
A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat."
And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.
The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!"
Thread Starter
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Super Moderator
Joined: Mar 2007
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From: Red Lion, PA
RE: 2-20-08 Bad Jokes
A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
"Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once,and I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says,
"Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's ***** is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places. The man says,
"Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
The pharmacist replies,
"You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?"
The man says,
"No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
"Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once,and I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says,
"Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's ***** is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places. The man says,
"Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
The pharmacist replies,
"You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?"
The man says,
"No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
