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"Ode To Winter"

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  #1  
Old 01-01-2008, 02:14 PM
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Default "Ode To Winter"

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor. I wonder why he swears so much when he is shoveling though.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. This winter is certainly cutting into my budget. Sheesh!

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt, and injured my coccyx. Hurt like crazy. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 8 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. The food spoiled in the freezer too!

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the white stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Freakin' snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think the creep is lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till Thanksgiving. Took me 45 freakin' minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, went to the bathroom and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...freakin nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. This place is startin to tick me off.

December
 
  #2  
Old 01-01-2008, 02:18 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

F that. Shovels and shnit.
 
  #3  
Old 01-01-2008, 03:35 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin' snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of this crap. How much flippin' slop is going to drop tonight? Snowed in again. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her. The police tell me that it happens all the time and that I probably will not go to jail for assault, but I think they are lying!

LMFAO.....my side hurts from laughing
 
  #4  
Old 01-01-2008, 06:54 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

I was cleaning out my email account since I hit 1 gb and thought I would share that with you folks...
 
  #5  
Old 01-02-2008, 05:15 AM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

i thought i posted that awhile back.....still funny though
 
  #6  
Old 01-02-2008, 12:51 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

Everything gets funnier when I post it though....
 
  #7  
Old 01-02-2008, 01:16 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

That was funny as $hit.
 
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Old 01-02-2008, 03:39 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

I can relate, the holidays are gone, my back is sore frome shoveling, and only 78 more days til SPRING.
That was funny, but when I laugh my back hurts.

I drove to the county north of us this am, they got 8-10 more inches than I did at home. Better them than me.
 
  #9  
Old 01-02-2008, 03:52 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

That's some FUNNAY ****!!!!
 
  #10  
Old 01-02-2008, 03:53 PM
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Default RE: "Ode To Winter"

the grass had frost on it this morning. took at least 2 freakin' minutes for the defroster to clear the windhsield before i took the baby to daycare - i hate the winter . . . . [:@]
 



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