Print this out it might come in handy for some of you.

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Feb 26, 2007 | 11:27 AM

dilo2001gt

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Joined: Sep 2005

Posts: 4,300

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Print this out it might come in handy for some of you.

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1.
NAME: ___________________________
DATE OF BIRTH:_________________
2.
HEIGHT:__________
WEIGHT:_________
IQ:___________
GPA:____________
3.
SOCIAL SECURITY #:______________
DRIVER'S LICENSE #: ______________
4.
BOY SCOUT RANK:_____________________________________________ ___
5.
HOME ADDRESS: ____________________
CITY/STATE:________
ZIP:_______
6.
Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent: Yes/No.
Explain: __________________________________________________ __________
7.
Number of years parents married to each other:___________________________
8.
Do you own a van? ______
A truck with oversized tires?_____
A waterbed?_____
9.
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring? _______
A tattoo? ________
10.
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you:
__________________________________________________ _________________
11.
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you:
__________________________________________________ _________________
12.
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you:
__________________________________________________ _________________
13.
Church you attend: _______________________
How often? _______________
14.
Best time to interview your father: _____; mother: ______; clergyman: ________
15.
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (meaning I won't ever tell anyone; honest, I promise).
A. If shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is
__________________________________________________ _________________
B. If beaten, the last bone on my body I would want broken is
__________________________________________________ _________________
C. A woman's place is in the
____________________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
__________________________________________________ _________________
E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I first notice about her is
__________________________________________________ _________________
(NOTE: if answer begins with a "t" or an "a", discontinue filling out application, keep your head low, and run away in a serpentine fashion).
16. What do you want to be if you ever grow up?
__________________________________________________ __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE. UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKER, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Signed: __________________________ (Sign your name, moron).
Thank you for your interest. Please allow six to eight years for processing. You will be notified in writing of approval. Please do not call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. You are cautioned to watch your back.