BLONDE JOKES
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,579
From:
BLONDE JOKES
BLONDE LOGIC[/align]
Two blondes living inTexas were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"
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[blockquote]
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
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There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
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A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
[font=arial][color=black][size=5]A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, ca
Two blondes living inTexas were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"
[/align]
[blockquote]
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
[/align]
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
[/align]
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
[/align]
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
[/align]
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
[font=arial][color=black][size=5]A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, ca
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,589
From: Mount Dora, FL
RE: BLONDE JOKES
EXCUSE EM WAH!(whatever the heck french is for that lol) Said the blonde gal in FLA to the Old fart! [sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif]
(justtttttttt teasin...Im not to far behind ya hun!)
(justtttttttt teasin...Im not to far behind ya hun!)
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,173
From:
RE: BLONDE JOKES
A blonde decides to sell her Hummer as it is getting up in miles. She tries for several weeks to sell it but nobody seems interested as it has 320,000 miles on it. She tells her friend how much trouble she is having selling it due to the high mileage. Her friend says "I have a mechanic friend who can roll back the odometer for you. It's not really legal, but it should help you sell your truck. Here is his name and address, go see him and have him roll it back to 20,000 miles." The blonde says "Anything to sell this thing!", and takes it to the mechanic. A few weeks later, her friend runs into her and asks if she sold her Hummer. "Why sell it?", says the blonde. "It only has 20,000 miles on it!".
those were pretty good.
