I'm reading some people dropping the pan, some people pulling hoses...
What's the best frickin way to change it and what all do I need?

 

I just went through this with my H3. Did a lot of reading and decided that pulling the pan was the safest. I got the filter and gasket as a kit from auto zone for about $16 and also got a universal drain plug kit for about $5. The first pan pull took about 45 mins (due to all the fluid falling everywhere and me trying not to spill too much on the driveway). I cleaned the pan with Dawn and hot water in the kitchen sink and installed the drain plug with auto trans silicone as an extra precaution. I re-installed the new filter and modified pan and added 4qrts of Dexron VI. Ran the vehicle for about 20 miles, used the new drain plug and emptied the pan, added 4 more qrts, then repeated one last time. Very easy and now the trans feels brand new again.