RE: JOKES

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RE: JOKES

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RE: JOKES - 2/23/2006 4:04:08 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

Just one question....

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 16

RE: JOKES - 2/28/2006 2:43:47 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

Buckel up..it ain't quite right yet...

http://www.shopautobahn.com/v-hitech.html

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 17

RE: JOKES - 3/2/2006 10:09:30 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

< Message edited by Dennis -- 3/2/2006 10:11:09 PM >

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 18

RE: JOKES - 3/2/2006 10:17:22 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

This is where I like to eat when on the go...

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 19

RE: JOKES - 3/2/2006 11:00:27 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

Another fine toy from "Wammo"

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 20

RE: JOKES - 3/3/2006 12:34:41 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 21

RE: JOKES - 3/3/2006 12:46:24 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

Bush at his best..

http://www.wimp.com/bushcomedy/

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 22

RE: JOKES - 3/9/2006 7:37:28 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

This one will drive you nuts!!..I got to 15.946 seconds

The object of the game is to move the red block around

without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter

pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

Give it a try!!

http://tinyurl.com/56t9u

< Message edited by Dennis -- 3/9/2006 7:57:18 PM >

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 23

RE: JOKES - 3/10/2006 7:05:09 AM

hummerific

Posts: 150
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Bush at his best

That's hilarious

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 24

RE: JOKES - 3/11/2006 1:06:06 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

Laws of Nature

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of Gravity
A slice of buttered bread will always fall and hit the floor buttered side down.

< Message edited by Dennis -- 3/11/2006 11:03:12 PM >

(in reply to hummerific)

Post #: 25

RE: JOKES - 3/12/2006 11:11:42 PM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby , A couple of women moved in across the hall From me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the Other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These Two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a Man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think They could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so Much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated Woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's Getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should Share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough To discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been Fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, He's denied everything and said it would never happen Again.

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why Would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home Turn against his own?

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen It. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a Psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a Half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home Sober.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I Think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost All interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my Husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 26

RE: JOKES - 3/14/2006 8:13:13 AM

Dennis

Posts: 7584
Status: offline

BUSH..Again!

Donald Rumsfeld finished his daily briefing to the President and made a quick comment that 3 Brazillian soldiers had been killed in a terrorist attack.

The President first stared blankly, then appeared stunned. His face turned pale, he buried his face in is hands. Unaccustomed to such emotional displays by their esteemed leader, Rumsfeld, Rice and the others began to shift uneasily.

After almost a minute, Bush, his eyes brimming with the promise of tears, asked, "Remind me again.....how many is a brazillian?

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 27

RE: JOKES - 3/14/2006 10:48:36 AM

dilo2001gt

Posts: 4300
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dennis

BUSH..Again!

Donald Rumsfeld finished his daily briefing to the President and made a quick comment that 3 Brazillian soldiers had been killed in a terrorist attack.

The President first stared blankly, then appeared stunned. His face turned pale, he buried his face in is hands. Unaccustomed to such emotional displays by their esteemed leader, Rumsfeld, Rice and the others began to shift uneasily.

After almost a minute, Bush, his eyes brimming with the promise of tears, asked, "Remind me again.....how many is a brazillian?

That's funny but i would beleive he would ask that question because he is a -----

< Message edited by dilo2001gt -- 3/22/2006 7:48:44 AM >

(in reply to Dennis)

Post #: 28

RE: JOKES - 3/15/2006 11:58:07 PM

efrainl956

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dennis

DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby , A couple of women moved in across the hall From me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the Other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These Two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a Man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think They could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so Much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated Woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's Getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should Share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough To discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been Fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, He's denied everything and said it would never happen Again.

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why Would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home Turn against his own?

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen It. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a Psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a Half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home Sober.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I Think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost All interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my Husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?