RE: JOKES
Login  | |
|
RE: JOKES - 6/7/2007 4:40:15 PM
|
|
|
H34 pleasure
Posts: 3735
Joined: 11/2/2006
From: Effort, Pa
Status: offline
|
Oh my gosh, these are all just to funny..
_____________________________
{ Tina }
2007 H3 Lux package ( Slate Blue Metallic )
2002 Honda Goldwing ( Burnt Orange )
BAD A$$ GIRLS..DRIVE BAD A$$ TOYS
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/8/2007 9:31:00 AM
|
|
|
Okanagan Hummer Girl
Posts: 82
Status: offline
|
hahaha - there's always one in every crowd (or classroom)
_____________________________
Happily Ever After Starts Now!
2007 Hummer H3
(Birch) Snow White
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/8/2007 9:11:18 PM
|
|
|
Dennis
Posts: 7584
Status: offline
|
A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a
blonde
already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest
smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, "'T-G-I-F' means
'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it duuhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/9/2007 12:38:19 AM
|
|
|
Lane
Posts: 78
Status: offline
|
An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barkeep. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imagineable!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barkeep. "You lucky bastard, was she pretty?"
"Dunno.......never found her head."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/9/2007 1:18:33 AM
|
|
|
HummBob
Posts: 15828
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lane
An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barkeep. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imagineable!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barkeep. "You lucky bastard, was she pretty?"
"Dunno.......never found her head."
GROSSSS!!!!
_____________________________
2004 Black Hummer H2
2007 Black Escalade
 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/9/2007 11:36:07 PM
|
|
|
Lane
Posts: 78
Status: offline
|
Nahhhh, now this is gross:
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 62. We drank and BS'd a bit then she asked if I had ever had the "sportsman's double", a mother and daughter 3-some? I said 'no' and we drank a bit more then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/10/2007 12:54:40 AM
|
|
|
HummBob
Posts: 15828
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lane
Nahhhh, now this is gross:
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 62. We drank and BS'd a bit then she asked if I had ever had the "sportsman's double", a mother and daughter 3-some? I said 'no' and we drank a bit more then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"
YUP, You're RIGHT....That is GROSSSS!!!!
_____________________________
2004 Black Hummer H2
2007 Black Escalade
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/10/2007 7:16:03 AM
|
|
|
Muddydawg75
Posts: 9955
Joined: 3/11/2007
From: South Jersey Shore
Status: offline
|
That's HAWT ^^^^^^
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in...and then the trouble started.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/10/2007 11:26:07 AM
|
|
|
hummernewby
Posts: 241
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: TigerLily
quote:
ORIGINAL: Misster
Guess which one is the female...
Thumbnail Image
The one standing quietly, looking away, not to add to the obvious anger and drama that the male is feeling? That'd be my guess ...
I was thinking the same thing 
I have to agree! 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/10/2007 2:28:07 PM
|
|
|
Dennis
Posts: 7584
Status: offline
|
My kind of doctor!!
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste the time on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up! !
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables
be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: JOKES - 6/11/2007 4:41:11 PM
|
|
|
Muddydawg75
Posts: 9955
Joined: 3/11/2007
From: South Jersey Shore
Status: offline
|
Daddy, how was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
''You got Male!'"
|
|
|
|
Contact Us |
Advertising |
Automotive Directory |
About Us |
Link To Us |
Archive |
Hummer Links |
Legal |
Privacy Policy |
© Hummer Forums.com
Hummer Forums .com is not affiliated with or endorsed by General Motors Corporation.
|
Printable Version
