Lane
1/21/2007 6:55:21 AM
Two Arab families who hadn't seen each other in years met at the local market. "Hi! How's your family?" "Fine. How's yours?" "Let me show you a picture. This boy is my youngest and the other is my oldest. He's a martyr now."
"Gosh, they blow up so fast nowadays!"
Dennis
2/1/2007 9:43:38 PM
MY DAD IS A FATHER
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your Collar.
Dennis
2/1/2007 10:21:38 PM
Riiiinnnnnnngggggg.....Riiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg
**"Hello?"**
**"Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mommy near the phone?"**
&nb
Dennis
2/10/2007 9:37:08 PM
I know, I know it hurts....here...next time he takes the ball away from you.......
RutDogg
2/10/2007 9:54:28 PM
Lane
2/23/2007 6:11:22 AM
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She got up, unplugged the tv and then threw out my beer.
She's such a bitch....
Dennis
3/20/2007 12:44:14 PM
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on I-95 south, just outside of
Washington. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his
window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened , What's the hold
up?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse
Jackson, Al Sharpton and John Kerry.
They are asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to
douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to
car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"
"About a gallon."
Dennis
3/21/2007 12:18:33 AM
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom. She said, "Yes".
When he went to wipe his fanny there was no toilet paper so, he used his hand. When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
The boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away." 
Good One!!!!
