I Dare You NOT To Laugh

BAKED BEANS
 
Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, 'He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on.' So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, ' Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'

He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. He sat her down and was about to remove the blindfold when the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable. So while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and boy, was she surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a 'Happy Birthday'!!!

I will admit...Pretty Funny!!!

Someone dared me not to laugh and I was doing well until the firtilizer truck part then I could not hold it in any longer...  

LOL!!!!  THere was a joke that I had heard some years back that was similar.  I young man was about to have sex for the first time and his girlfriend blindfolded him and told him that she would be right back.  The young man not wanting to blow his load too early, had remember a technique to prevent this.  So he started to masterbate.  At this time all of the lights came on and everybody yelled Happy Birthday as he stood there with his pud in his hand.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1548/blind_date_fart/

Hello... Makes you want to look before you toot.

Damn we call it tooting now? I have to remember that!